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*Please note: Don’t read this if you’re easily offended or dislike toilet humour*
It's the 1st of December today!
December was ALWAYS the worst time of year for me when I had IBS. The overindulgence, the abundance of high FODMAP foods, the booze, the stress of sorting presents...the list goes on!
So in the spirit of Christmas, I decided to write an IBS version of the 12 Days of Christmas! I do have dirty humour so expect a bit of filth!
I have done my best to cover all IBS types and symptoms - so there's something for everyone, so to speak!
Here we go!
On the first day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
A bad case of anxiety. [Anxiety can affect all IBS types]
On the second day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Two turtle heads, [IBS-C / IBS-M / IBS-A]
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the third day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Three French farts, [common symptoms for all IBS types]
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the forth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Four crampy cramps, [can affect all IBS types]
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Five poos with mucus, [can affect all IBS types]
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Six problems peeing, [can affect all IBS types]
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Seven issues pooing, [IBS-D/ IBS-C / IBS-M / IBS-A / IBS-U]
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Eight days of worry, [can affect all IBS types]
Seven issues pooing,
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Nine FODMAP triggers, [can affect all IBS types]
Eight days of worry,
Seven issues pooing,
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Ten bouts of bloating, [common symptoms for all IBS types]
Nine FODMAP triggers,
Eight days of worry,
Seven issues pooing,
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Eleven flare-ups flaring, [can affect all IBS types]
Ten bouts of bloating,
Nine FODMAP triggers,
Eight days of worry,
Seven issues pooing,
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
IBS gave to me,
Twelve urgent visits, [to the toilet: IBS-D / IBS-M / IBS-A]
Eleven flare-ups flaring,
Ten bouts of bloating,
Nine FODMAP triggers,
Eight days of worry,
Seven issues pooing,
Six problems peeing,
Five mucus poos,
Four crampy cramps,
Three French farts,
Two turtle heads,
And a bad case of anxiety.
I hope you enjoyed this IBS version of "The 12 Days Of Christmas"and it gave you a smile, a giggle or a laugh!
On a serious note, I do know how it feels to have Christmas with IBS and I know it can be utterly dreadful.
If you're interested in learning more about how Rapid Transformational Therapy helped me get welcome relief (and freedom) from IBS, and how it can help you? Book your free consultation call.
I'm here to help!
P.S. You can call me on +44 (0) 7503 817 397 or send me an email connect@nataliemears.co.uk